


A Town Called Wonderland

by SmackTheDevil



Series: The J2 Christmas Anthology [6]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Family Issues, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmackTheDevil/pseuds/SmackTheDevil
Summary: Jensen Ackles hasn't been home in a very long time, a successful media lawyer his life in the city has overtaken him and the memories of his childhood growing up in the fictional town of Wonderland flood back when he does finally accept his mother's invitation for family reunion at Christmas.Except, his parents appear to have a new 'son' who has taken Jensen's place and he's not very happy about it. At least, not at first.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Series: The J2 Christmas Anthology [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036215
Comments: 14
Kudos: 124





	A Town Called Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> 'A Town Called Wonderland' is story six of The J2 Christmas Anthology, a series of twelve festive short stories for the holiday season!
> 
> I have tried to cover as many tropes, kinks, tag preferences as I can in this series, so I hope there will be something for everyone!

It wasn’t his kingdom, not really but it felt like it was each and every time Jensen Ackles stood looking out over the city from his plush 52nd floor office with its panoramic views, fully-functioning ‘en suite’ bathroom and mini gym. It looked like the young successful lawyer had it all; looks, talent, wealth and charm. It was a far cry from his happy but humble upbringing in his childhood hometown of Wonderland but Jensen had always wanted more than what the sleepy little town offered. While homely and picturesque, Wonderland couldn’t hold the dreams and ambitions Jensen had developed for himself so he escaped after college and never went back. Wonderland was calling though, or rather his mother was and after almost twenty long years Jensen gave in and accepted his parents invitation to go home for Christmas rather than having Jensen fly them out to the big city like he always did. The news that he wasn’t going to be around for the endless festive parties, meals out, skiing trips to Verbier, Switzerland and his friend with benefits Nico hit everyone who knew him quite hard when he announced his holiday plans during lunch at a nice Japanese restaurant with his closest colleagues.

“So you’re going for the full two weeks, Ackles? No Verbier?” Mac, Jensen’s second-in-command asked.

“No Verbier.” Jensen nodded slowly, casting his eyes over the three men which included his office toy, Nico.

“Two whole weeks in that hick town in favor of our fun and games, you’re insane. You’ve finally lost it, Jensen.”

“Do you really have to go?” Nico muttered, quite the dynamic businessman when he wasn’t around Jensen but quiet and gladly submissive when he was.

“Yes, I do. I’ll give you a treat before I leave.” Jensen smirked, blatantly running a hand up Nico’s thigh. Everyone knew of their boss’s sexuality and the reputation for being a playboy that came with it.

“I can’t believe this.” James, Jensen’s second second-in-command threw down his napkin. “I’ve booked everything.”

“Good God, you’re all behaving as if you can’t have a good time without me being there.” Jensen chuckled, leaning back in his chair as he looked at the three sad faces around the table. “Oh come on fellas, grow some balls.”

“You won’t survive it.” Mac said bitterly. “Not two weeks with your parents in that crappy town.”

“I appreciate your concern, I am touched by your disappointment but don’t you ever say anything disparaging about my parents ever again. Do you understand?” 

“Shit, sorry. It didn’t occur to me that you actually _like_ them.”

“What are you talking about?” Jensen tutted before standing up and buttoning his suit jacket, Nico stood with him because of the ‘treat’. 

“Nothing, it’s just-”

“My father hasn’t been in the best of health recently.”

“Alright, I get it.”

“Do you?” Jensen pursed his lips and glared at Mac. “Thank you for lunch, Mac.” He smirked.

“Bastard.” James chuckled as he watched Mac get played and lumbered with the hefty restaurant bill.

“Always.” Jensen winked then glanced at Nico. “Come on, darling. Treat time.”

*

Jensen sent Nico on his way after his ‘treat’ and made no promises that he would keep in contact over the holidays. Nico had started to become a little too clingy for Jensen’s liking and so was beginning the phasing out process to free himself up completely. At thirty-eight, Jensen still wasn’t ready to settle down and as much as he appeared to come across as a bit of a bastard, under the veneer of an excellent business mind and a strictly no-strings playboy was a good man. It had just gotten, lost. Lost under his designer clothes, fancy watches, penthouse apartment and the adulation he received from his colleagues. Jensen’s life had changed beyond recognition and so his trip home after such a long time wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to. There was no doubt that he loved his parents but the town itself had little to offer a man who lived his life so large.

Getting there was a complication that Jensen could have done without. As much as the flight to the nearest city to Wonderland felt like a breeze, finding someone to drive him to the tiny town through huge snowdrifts and deserted country roads lined with looming pine trees was like pulling teeth. Jensen’s money meant little to small folk away from the big city and so he found himself hiring a scrappy little car. Jensen loaded the car with his Gucci luggage and professionally wrapped Christmas gifts which looked ridiculously out of place on the back seat of the sad looking Saturn and set off with nothing but dull headlights and a useless internet connection to guide him there. To say that Jensen was stressed out by the time he drove into Wonderful was an understatement, so stressed that he didn’t notice how pretty the Main Street looked, all decorated for Christmas, nor did he notice how well-kept the town was, how unchanged and beautifully timeless it was. Jensen didn’t notice the man watching him from up a ladder while replacing a bright green bulb in the lights that were hung from the old timey iron street lamps. Jensen didn’t know that the man was the one that had got away.

*

“Oh look at you, my big city boy.” Rachel, Jensen’s mom said as the front door to their lovely little home flew open. 

“Hey, Mom.” Jensen smiled tiredly and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

“Ronnie, Jensen is here!” Rachel yelled out to her grumpy husband.

“He’s late!” Ronnie called back from his armchair in the living room.

“Mood status?” Jensen whispered while his Mom helped him out of his heavy wool coat which smelled of expensive cologne and weighed a ton.

“Irritable.” Rachel whispered back. “He’s annoyed that you’re late.”

“I had to hire a car to get here, the paperwork took an age.” 

“This is a nice coat, Jensen.”

“Thank you, I liked it so much, I bought two.” Jensen smiled.

“How nice.” Rachel sighed, gazing up at her only son.

“Who needs two coats?!” Ronnie yelled out.

“How does he do that?” Jensen said, continuing to speak in low tones.

“My back might not be what it used to be but I can still hear when you two are plotting!”

“Go and see him, go on. Coffee, dear?”

“Yes, please. Black, no sugar.”

“Are you sure?” Rachel frowned.

“Quite sure.” Jensen chuckled, dragging his luggage to the bottom of the stairs as his Mom wandered into the kitchen. 

“Your old room is all ready for you.” Rachel called back as Jensen braced himself and strolled casually into the living room. He leaned over his fathers armchair and kissed his head.

“Dad.” 

“Why are you late?”

“Hello to you too. Hire car problems.” Jensen moved around the chair and sat himself on the couch next his Dad who looked a little on the thin side but healthier than he had been lead to believe. 

The living room felt tiny even in comparison to Jensen’s en suite bathroom at his apartment, let alone his actual living room. It was cozy and warm with an open fire and a huge space filling Christmas tree. There were boxes of chocolates, bowls of snacks and nibbles on every surface and a pile of neatly wrapped gifts under the tree. It was all perfectly familiar and made Jensen smile at how some things just never change, he just hadn’t realized how that could be a good thing yet.

“What did you hire?”

“Uh, some old Saturn I think. It’s practically a junker.” Jensen chuckled.

“Below your standards?”

“No, it got me here, so I can’t complain.” Jensen said tightly. There had always been an unspoken tension between Jensen and his father. Ronnie hadn’t been happy when Jensen came out to his parents at twenty-five and was even less happy that his son had left Wonderland so abruptly. There was no doubt that they loved one another but the relationship was strained and Jensen’s success was lost on a man whose life was small and simple. “How did Mom manage that huge tree on her own?” 

“Jared did it.” Rachel said, setting a tray of cups down on the coffee table, none of which looked anything like black coffee but Jensen was too tired to argue.

“Who’s Jared?”

“You know Jared.”

“No, I don’t any Jared’s.” Jensen said, frowning as he picked up a cup of hot chocolate loaded with whipped cream, festive colored sprinkles and a candy cane hanging over the rim.

“Yes, you do. Jared.”

“Saying the name ‘Jared’ over and over isn’t going to jog my memory.” Jensen smirked.

“Do you like the sprinkles?” 

“Um, yes. Not coffee though is it?” Jensen chuckled, shaking his head.

“It’s Christmas.” Rachel grinned. “And it’s a Mocha, Jared took me to Costco last week, I bought the sprinkles there.”

“Who _is_ Jared?”

“He’s a good boy, isn’t he Rachel?” Ronnie said fondly. 

“Such a good boy.” Rachel agreed, matching her husbands fond look.

“Is Jared a dog?” Jensen frowned.

“No, it’s Jared. You know, Jared.”

Jensen didn’t know Jared at all.

The remainder of the evening continued on in a similar vein with Jensen attempting to enlighten his parents about what was going on his life while they bombarded him with tales of Jared. How Jared fixed the rotten step on their front porch, how he helped with the Christmas tree, how Jared was such a good boy and by the end of the night Jensen was still none the wiser as to who Jared was even though his mother insisted that her son knew him. 

“Saying ‘you know him’ repeatedly and without context is not going to jog my memory, Mom.” Jensen sighed, high on sugar and glancing at his watch even though it wasn’t even 10pm yet. “I’m going to call it a night, I’m tired from the traveling. Do you mind?”

“Of course not, dear. You go on up. There are clean linens on your bed and a little surprise on your pillow.”

“Well, thank you.” Jensen smiled because his Mom was a sweet person. She always had been and was Jensen’s biggest supporter when he came out all those years ago. It was then that he realized just how much he had missed her.

“We’re up early in the morning, son.” Ronnie said gruffly.

“Yes, Jared is taking us to pick up the turkey for dinner, since you couldn’t come for Thanksgiving-” Rachel started.

“For the last twenty years.” Ronnie interrupted his wife who then gave him quite a hard slap on the arm which amused Jensen.

“We thought we would have one for Christmas, I know it’s not the Ackles tradition but this year is special. Are you going to come with us?”

“Um, I’ll see. If I’m up, yes.” Jensen nodded. 

“Sleep well, dear.”

“And you, Mom.”

Jensen grabbed his cases and dragged them up the narrow staircase, glancing at the photographs hung on the wall as he walked up the stairs and then onto his childhood bedroom. He switched on the light and chuckled to himself, the room was unchanged and exactly as he had left it all of those years ago. After college, Jensen went back home briefly to collect a few belongings but realized at the time that there was nothing he had wanted to take with him and so everything remained. Jensen set his case down and changed into a pair of pajama shorts then climbed into bed, instinctively moving to the left to avoid the huge lump in the mattress that he thought he had forgotten about. As he moved, Jensen felt something under his head and then slide from the pillow underneath him. It was a note with a small wrapped chocolate inside it.

‘ _Welcome home, love Mom_ ’ 

Jensen fell asleep with a tear in his eye.

*

The house was deathly silent when Jensen woke up the next morning and lumpy mattress aside he found that he had slept incredibly well, better than he had in a long while. Jensen could tell that there had been fresh snowfall during the night, the muffled silence that he had grown up with was just all too familiar. He laid idling in bed for a while, taking in the remnants of the boy he used to be before wandering downstairs in his shorts, calling for his Mom as if he had never been away.

“Mom?! Are you home?” Jensen glanced at his watch which he had accidentally slept in and realized that he had slept in very late and that his parents were obviously out with Jared choosing the Christmas turkey which made him feel temporarily left out until he saw the breakfast food laid out for him and another note. 

‘ _Didn’t want to wake you, coffee in the pot, breakfast on the counter. Love Mom_ ’

Jensen loaded up on coffee and carbs, forgoing his big city Keto diet because when it came down to it, trying to explain _that_ to his mother who was a famous ‘feeder’ wasn’t something Jensen wanted to do. It was a slow and very different life in Wonderland and Jensen found that it was surprisingly very easy to slip back into the old ways of the small town and life with his parents. He wondered why he had been dreading it for so long. As the memories washed over him, Jensen sat up suddenly as one particular and very personal part of his teen years hit him between the eyes. ‘Jensen Ross Ackles’ Book of Boys’. Jensen gasped then laughed as he remembered, hurriedly pouring himself a third cup of coffee then dashing back up to his bedroom.

“Please still be there, please still be there.” Jensen muttered to himself, setting his mug on the three drawer nightstand and opening the bottom one which was filled with pens and unused legal pads. Jensen lifted the contents of the drawer and then the false bottom and there it was, untouched since his high school days; ‘Jensen Ross Ackles’ Book of Boys’. “Do I dare look?” He chuckled, pulling the book out from the drawer and sitting on the floor next to his bed. The book was like a diary but without the coherency of dates, days and months. It was held shut by a large rubber band and filled with pictures which slid out as Jensen pulled the band off. The pictures were mostly cut from mens magazines and catalogs or grainy images from the crappy printer Ronnie had gotten with their first PC package when Jensen had been fifteen. There was a lot of rambling paragraphs about boys and dicks and quite a few graphic drawings of them too. “Wow, I was a thirsty teen. I haven’t changed that much.” Jensen laughed. 

As Jensen flicked through the book, a folded photograph fell out from the back page, he opened it slowly and fell with a thud against the side of the bed. The picture was of Jensen and a few boys from his brief stint playing basketball in high school. One of the boys was surrounded by a red ink halo of a heart with the word ‘Jared’ written next to it.

“Oh, _that_ Jared.” Jensen slapped a hand over his face as he remembered his crush. Jared Padalecki, captain of the basketball team and all-round hottie. The object of Jensen’s unrequited affections for one whole year until graduation and college tore them apart. Could it have been the same Jared? The handyman and substitute son that Mr and Mrs. Ackles were so enthralled with? The boy Jensen used to gaze at for hours at a time and made a mix tape for but never plucked up the courage to give. “Oh God, the mix tape.” Jensen groaned at his teenage desperation and got up to flick through his old CD rack and lo, there it was hidden and untouched since 1997. The memories of Jensen’s crush on Jared Padalecki were suddenly in the forefront of his mind and so intense had those feelings been as a high schooler that Jensen just had to find out if ‘his’ Jared was the same Jared his own parents appeared to be obsessed with. 

Jensen couldn’t seem to get any kind of signal on his phone and the home Wi-Fi seemed to be disconnected so he went downstairs to have a fiddle with his parents antiquated router which was placed as far back behind the gigantic Christmas tree as it could have possibly been. Ass up and buried underneath the tree, Jensen grabbed the router and attempted to reset it while trying to read the password on the back of it by the lights strung on the tree.

“Fuck sake.” Jensen muttered.

“Jensen Ross Ackles, language!” Rachel gasped, blinking at the view of his her sons ass in barely there shorts.

“I’m trying to reset your dumb router, I can’t get any internet on my phone and I-” Jensen pulled himself out from under the Christmas tree and turned around. “-oh.”

“See-” Rachel said, smirking at Jensen’s instant blush. “- you _do_ remember Jared.”

“Hello, Jensen.” Jared grinned. Jared the substitute son, Jared who was captain of the basketball team, Jared whom Jensen had fantasized about for twelve whole months.

“Jared.” Jensen nodded dumbly, instantly feeling fifteen again and backed out from behind the tree, giving everyone a great view of his behind.

“Well, a reunion. Isn’t that nice, I’ll make hot chocolate.” Rachel hummed, off to the kitchen again which was where she spent most of her life.

“So, it’s been a while.” Jared said fondly, taking a step toward Jensen who recoiled slightly and only because Jared was huge. He always had been a tall boy but man he had grown big and handsome. 

“Yeah, a long while.” Jensen chuckled, shaking Jared’s hand then recoiling a second time because Jared reached for his hair.

“You have pine needles in your hair.”

“Oh.” Jensen chuckled lightly and ran his hands over his hair before realizing he was almost naked and slapped his hands over his nipples as Jared smiled at him. “Thanks. So, you’re still here.”

“In Wonderland? Yeah, why I wouldn’t I? It’s called Wonderland after all. But you got away, huh. Big job in the city.”

“Yes.” Jensen nodded but then frowned. “Is that what my parents say, that I have a ‘big job in the city’.” He said, throwing lazy air quotes.

“No. You’re a media lawyer who represents some of the biggest names in Hollywood, one of the best, if not the best.”

“Oh. Well, color me corrected.”

“Your Mom told me you’re currently representing a huge star who’s fighting the tabloids who want to out him.”

“I am yes.”

“Who is it?” Jared grinned and it was lucky he did because the dimpled smile distracted Jensen from such an impertinent question.

“I obviously can’t tell you, client confidentiality.” 

“Worth a shot.” Jared smirked, cocking his head to one side and folding his arms across his chest. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Jared shook his head, bit his bottom lip then licked it with the tip of his tongue. “Nothing at all."

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna go shower and get dressed. It was good seeing you again, Jared.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the last of me. I’ll be around, Jen." 

So ‘good boy’ Jared was indeed Jensen’s high school crush, all grown up and sexy looking and being a better son to Rachel and Ronnie than Jensen had been for a very long time. That fact irked Jensen a lot more than he wanted to admit, mostly because it made him feel guilty for not being there for his parents when they had needed him and more so believing that money and hollow gifts were compensation for his absence. Jared was the one who had driven Ronnie to hospital appointments, fixed their rain gutters when they had leaked, reset their Wi-Fi router each time it disconnected and did all of those thing that Jensen, as their only son should have been doing. Naturally, instead of being thankful for Jared, his guilt twisted into jealousy as he thought about all of his shortcomings as an adult child. There were too many for him to comprehend and by the time he had finished showering had somehow come to the odd conclusion that he disliked Jared immensely. 

*

Jensen’s sudden distaste for Jared was abruptly made all the worse during lunch with his parents when Rachel announced quite casually that Jared, The Boy Wonder™, would be joining them for Christmas dinner and would also be staying the night too. Jensen was mildly incensed at being told, rather than asked but for the sake of harmony he kept his mouth shut and quietly seethed while he ate. It was typical, Jensen thought, that he should make the effort to go home for Christmas and have to spend it with a man whom his parents seemed like better than their own son. Jensen was an intelligent grown up man for sure but not incapable of childish sulking and envy. What made the situation feel worse was the crush thing. The crush thing that had started when Jensen had first seen Jared half naked in the locker room all those year ago. And he had been crazy cute back then, popular with girls, looked up to by the boys and perved upon by Jensen who was at that point grappling with his sexuality. And in many ways, he had Jared to thank for helping him realize why the perky cheerleaders left him cold and why he was was always the last one left in the locker room because Jared had unwittingly given Jensen a lust-driven teenage boner that took an age to go away. 

What made the situation feel even worse than the other worse thing was the simple fact that Jared had blossomed into a huge muscular and very sexy thirty-something that Jensen just could not deny. And so that was the projected outlook for Jensen’s Christmas, disappointing his father, being made to feel like the worst son ever and lusting over a man whose picture he used to kiss in bed at night. Jensen suddenly felt less like a lawyer to the stars and more like a sad case. Going home was jarring.

*

On Christmas Eve eve, Jensen spent the day wedged up against the wall between the fireplace and the Christmas tree because it was the only spot in the house where the Wi-Fi worked at a reasonable speed. The lawyer felt like a kid again in that house, as if the past twenty years of college, passing the bar and working his way up to become a contact in world famous movie stars’ address books had been wiped away from his memories and left him a simpering mess who never wanted to upset his father, pandered to his mother and became Hugh Grant every time Jared walked into the house. Which was a lot by the way, the giant thorn in Jensen’s side was in and out like a Whack-A-Mole on and off all day. Why the hell didn’t he just move in?

“Why on earth are you sitting there?” Rachel said, bringing in a tray of food and drinks into the living room for their evening supper with Jared trailing behind her like freaking Lassie.

“I have work emails to send and your Wi-Fi is abysmal, mother.”

“He always calls be mother when he has a bug up his ass.” Rachel snorted and everyone in the room laughed except Jensen, who wasn’t really sending work emails. He had sworn off work for the entire two weeks over Christmas like he always did because famous people were awful and he deserved the time off. No, Jensen was on social media looking mournfully at pictures of his friends living it up in Verbier and whom appeared not be missing him at all. 

“As I said, terrible Wi-Fi.” Jensen said, hauling his numb ass up from the floor and sitting on the couch. “Hey, why doesn’t Jared fix it for you?” He said, throwing a handful of salted peanuts into his mouth.

“Oh, Jensen. Don’t be rude.” Rachel laughed while Ronnie stared daggers at his son who merely shrugged at him.

“You know, Mrs. A.” Jared said, hovering by the couch. “I think I’ll take off for tonight, leave you three alone.”

“Good idea. I’m sure you have a billion Christmas light bulbs to replace.” Jensen muttered under his breath while he sipped on another of his mothers steaming hot cups of sugar loaded hot chocolate and giving himself a fetching whipped cream mustache in the process.

“I’ll go.” Jared said sadly, which did tug at Jensen’s cold heart a bit. A tiny bit.

“No, stay.” Jensen sighed. “Mom has gone to a lot of trouble.” He added, after being worn down by two sets of very annoyed parental eyes.

“Only if you’re sure.” Jared said, already sitting down before Jensen could reply.

“Sure.” Jensen shrugged. The couch dipped considerably as Jared sat down and Jensen’s roving eyes drifted over Jared’s muscular thighs.

“Thank you. I kind of got a little cold outside fixing the car.” Jared said, rubbing his hands together then glancing at Jensen. “You have a mustache.”

“What?”

“Cream.” Jared smirked, gesturing at his own mouth. 

“Oh.” Jensen pursed his lips and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while it felt as if he and Jared suddenly had an audience to their banal conversation. “You two are very quiet.” 

“It’s just so nice seeing you boys together again, isn’t it Ronnie?” Rachel hummed, sitting on the edge of her husbands armchair and elbowing him as the man fiddled with the television remote control.

“Yes, although it was only at the basketball and Jensen was mostly on the bench. Jared was the captain.” Ronnie said, pressing at the buttons roughly and not making eye contact with anyone. 

Jensen turned his head stiffly to look at Jared, giving him a ‘ _You see what I mean?_ ’ look after Ronnie’s subtle jibe. Jared laughed lightly, rolling his eyes. Although he had never been on the receiving end of Mr. Ackles’ occasionally sour tongue, he knew that the man spoke his mind and kind of felt bad for Jensen in a way because it wasn’t as if he had just dragged himself up off Skid Row with a drug addiction. Jensen was successful so even Jared couldn’t understand why Mr. A was so hell bent on being perpetually disappointed with his son.  
The evening relaxed a little although Jensen rarely spoke to Jared or at all because Rachel spoke for him most of time which in all honesty he was grateful for because it meant more looking at Jared whenever he spoke. Jensen’s former crush was articulate, witty, insightful and if possible infinitely better looking than he had been when he was eighteen. Jared had a warmth about him that Jensen hadn’t seen in a man for a long time, there was no ego, no unkindness just authenticity which for Jensen in his daily life in work and play seemed rare. The iceman was thawing.

_Christmas Day_

Jensen was woken up at some ungodly hour by the smell of food and loud chattering coming from the kitchen. He reached over to grab his watch and checked the time. It wasn’t even 8am and it already sounded like a party in full swing downstairs. Plus it very much sounded like Jared had too decided to stay the night, Jensen recognized his boyish laugh and decided that despite not getting any real signals that Jared was gay, to switch it on and try a little flirting. There had been no mentions of a girlfriend or wife, and Jensen was about twenty-four percent sure that Jared had given him a look. Jensen had hit on guys in heterosexual clubs before on lower odds than that and it was Christmas, so why not.

Freshly showered in his bedrooms pokey en suite, Jensen slipped into a pair of loose fitting boxers, over which he wore his favorite silk robe adorned with Japanese flowers and fixed his hair, parting it to one side and slathering it in heavy wax. Jensen dabbed on a little of his favorite and quite heady Tom Ford cologne then checked his reflection. It was all a touch pretentious and maybe over the top for Christmas morning with his parents and their resident handy man but Jensen was curious so battle dress it had to be. 

“Jensen, why aren’t you dressed?” Rachel gasped as Jensen glanced at the fully attired gang of three sitting around the breakfast table.

“Because we never get dressed until after we’ve opened our gifts.” Jensen frowned and he wasn’t wrong but he figured it had something to do with Jared being there. Jared was leaning against the table on one elbow and if Jensen wasn’t mistaken, salivating at the view. The odds had just gone up considerably. Oh yes.

“Well, it was sweet of you to remember.” Rachel said, moving around the table and hugging her son as he sat down. “Just cover your nipples, dear. No one wants to see them on Christmas Day.”

“What about tomorrow?” Jensen smirked.

“Oh, you’re a silly boy.” Rachel laughed.

“I like your robe.” Jared said deeply, dragging the pad of his thumb along his bottom lip.

“Thank you, I bought it when I was on business in Japan.” Jensen grinned, loading his plate with all the different kind of foods he usually denied himself.

“It looks like a woman’s robe.” Ronnie muttered.

“I like it.” Jared grinned. “Very sexy.” It was so quiet, those last two words but Jensen heard it and the odds surpassed one hundred percent.

“Well, Merry Christmas everyone.” Jensen said, holding his empty juice glass in the air. “Mother, do you have any Gin?”

*

Rachel loved the soft pink cashmere sweater Jensen had bought her, Ronnie was mostly neutral about his leather house slippers and Jared didn’t care at all that Jensen hadn’t bought him anything since his being there had been a last minute surprise for Jensen. The sidelined lawyer politely opened his gifts which were the usual ‘mom and dad’ offerings; socks, a diary, a necktie which Jensen honestly liked and a box of liqueur chocolates, the kind you give to grandpas by way of sneaking them alcohol their medical problems didn’t permit. Jared got a fancy looking Swiss army knife and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. Jensen felt less pleased about his socks. Jared was absolutely treated as if he were a part of the family and while Jensen absorbed Gin like a sponge, all he could hear around him was ‘Jared this’ and ‘Jared that’. Rachel and Ronnie were obsessed with him it seemed and the constant chatter, in-jokes that Jensen wasn’t a part of and the stories about broken gutters, trips to the hospital and Costco suddenly became too much for him to stand.

“Does anyone want anything from the kitchen?” Jensen said, standing up and shuffling through a pile of discarded gift wrap. “No?” He asked before anyone even had the chance to answer and swept out of the living room, flouncing in his pretty robe. Jensen mumbled and grumbled as he examined the alcohol on offer which was quite impressive because his mother was teetotal and his father was on too many meds that forbade booze.

“I’ll have a drink with you.” Jared said, suddenly appearing next to Jensen and setting his bottle of Johnny Walker on the kitchen counter.

“Don’t you want to save that for a special occasion?” Jensen sighed.

“It’s Christmas, isn’t that special?”

“I don’t know, is it?” Jensen snapped.

“Look, I don’t know what I’ve done but I am getting some very mixed messages from you.”

“Are you?” Jensen said, grabbing Jared’s bottle and unscrewing the cap.

“Hm. I feel like a part of you wants to hit me and another wants to-”

“What?”

“Well, you know.” Jared smirked.

“No, I don’t know. But while we’re at it, I do have a question for you.” 

“Oh, okay. Shoot.” Jared said, sliding two glasses across the counter toward Jensen. 

“How much money do you take from my parents for all the, what seem like ridiculously frequent, jobs you do for them?” Jensen asked, eyebrows raised. Jared’s nostrils flared as he very politely and very calmly took back the bottle of booze.

“I charge them wholesale if I’m doing work for them that requires parts, otherwise nothing. Why?”

“You do it out of the kindness of your heart?” Jensen scoffed.

“Yes.” Jared said softly.

“Why?”

“Because they’re good people who need help sometimes, Ronnie hasn’t been doing great recently so I thought I’d try and ease the burden of running a house for them both.”

“Why, because I’m so useless?”

“No. I didn’t say that at all. We’re a community here, we help one another.” Jared shrugged. “I’m pretty sure that if work didn’t keep you away so often then you’d be here to do all of those things for them.”

“I don’t think they would want me to.” Jensen said, softening because Jared had a very calm and rational way of talking. There wasn’t a confrontational bone in his body.

“They would but they also understand how important your job is. They talk about you all time and tell everyone about how successful you are.” Jared chuckled softly.

“What, my ‘big job in the city’?”

“Really, again? No, your Dad tells people his son is a successful lawyer. Which is what you are.”

“He’s proud of me?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“Well, he’s got a funny way of showing it because he can’t stop himself going on about how the sun shines out of your ass.”

“You really don’t like me, do you?” Jared sighed, giving in and pouring two glasses of whiskey. 

“I don’t know you, I didn’t know you that well in high school.” Jensen sighed. “I just feel like a bad son.”

“You’re not and it’s not a crime for people to make friends in your absence because that’s all I am, I’m their friend.”

“I feel like I’m getting some kind of A Christmas Carol life lesson.”

“Nah, it’s just hard coming home.” Jared chuckled.

“I’ll drink to that.” Jensen said, taking up his glass and tapping it against Jared’s. The pair took a sip in unison and nodded their appreciation at the liquor. 

“So, since I feel we’ve cleared the air a little-” Jared started, looking at Jensen intently. “-I was wondering about the other thing.”

“What other thing?” Jensen frowned.

“The fact that you’re dressed as if you’re trying to get me into bed.” Jared smirked, pulling one side of Jensen’s robe back to reveal a nipple. “Hm.”

“Oh, that. Is it that obvious?” Jensen grinned.

“Wasn’t that kind of the point?”

“I guess it was.”

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Uh, probably sitting by the Christmas tree inwardly crying that I’m not skiing in Switzerland and that I’ve been lumbered with my parents new pet.” Jensen teased, taking a risk with a near the knuckle joke. Jared laughed loudly. “But nothing, why?”

“Go on a date with me? Nothing fancy, just a few drinks in the bar in town.”

“A date?” Jensen nodded, smiling to himself. “You know that I had a huge and quite embarrassing crush on you during high school, don’t you?”

“Ditto.” Jared winked. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” Jensen nodded, laughing as he took another sip of his whiskey. “It’s a yes.”

*

Jensen declined to tell his parents precisely where he was going when he left the house looking smart but casual to meet Jared for their date, telling them that he was going to have a look around the town and revisit a few places he hadn’t seen in a long while. Rachel believed him, his father did not. Jared was walking up to the bar just as Jensen pulled up on the street a few doors down in his clapped-out Saturn which backfired and then seemed to deflate as he parked up.

“You’ve blown a tire!” Jared yelled, leaning toward the window and grinning from under a soft cream beanie and matching scarf.

“Crap.” Jensen groaned as the car jolted as he tried to put it into park. “Can you change tires?” He said, finally getting out of the car as Jared stepped back into a pile of snow on the sidewalk.

“I can. Why, can’t you?”

“Uh.” Jensen wrinkled his nose. 

“No problem.” Jared smiled, choosing quite politely not to tease Jensen for being a tad useless. “You can crash at mine tonight, if you want.”

“I don’t think my mom and dad would let me.” Jensen smirked.

“Well, I won’t tell if you won’t.” Jared grinned, stepping onto the sidewalk and temporarily losing his balance. Jensen grabbed his arm as Jared slipped and wobbled on a patch of ice and thudded against Jensen’s body.

“Hm, you’re stronger than you look city boy.” Jared grinned, holding Jensen around the waist.

“I work out.”

“I’d noticed.”

The bar wasn’t all that busy when the boys stepped inside and it wasn’t anything like the high class drinking clubs that Jensen was used to but it had a homely feel to it. Everyone knew everyone else and it was clean and mostly importantly warm.

“God, I’m freezing.” Jensen shivered, not warm enough to remove his coat because Jared was rubbing his back too and he kind of didn’t want him to stop. 

“Don’t you go skiing every Christmas? I thought you’d be used to the snow.”

“I do and I am but heating is bust in that piece of junk outside.” Jensen said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder.

“Well, in that case we’ll have a double of something warming each.”

“That sounds good to me.” Jensen grinned.

_Two Hours Later_

“Why the hell did you join the basketball team if you hated it so much?” Jared snorted as they reminisced about their high school days. “You sucked at it by the way.” 

“Thanks.” Jensen said in a flat tone but with amusement in his eyes. “My dad wanted me to do sports of some kind and when I auditioned-”

“Tried out.” Jared corrected with a chuckle.

“-whatever you call it, Coach Markham got me on a good day and was under the illusion that I was actually decent at it. But-”

“You sucked, big time.”

“I did. And I didn’t care, it just meant more time on the bench to watch you.” Jensen grinned.

“Big crush, huh?”

“Confusing crush but yes, a very big one.”

“And now?”

“Now.” Jensen inhaled deeply and leaned back against the booth seat. “Still quite big as it happens. You’re very much my type.”

“The country handy man with rough, beaten hands who has never been out of Wonderland?” Jared said modestly.

“Yes, the kind man who is selfless and thoughtful and God, he grew up really handsome.” 

“That’s quite a testimonial coming from you.” 

“I mean it.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, every word.”

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Yes, please.” Jensen nodded keenly. 

_Another Hour Later_

“I haven’t done this in a while.” Jared said softly.

“Just hold it lightly and give it a twist.”

“I don’t want to do it wrong.”

“You won’t, trust me.” Jensen whispered. 

“I just hate it when the marshmallows burn too much.” Jared chuckled. 

“I like them a bit charred. I’m meant to be on a Keto diet.” Jensen said, taking a bite out of his perfectly toasted marshmallow as they sat in front of Jared’s impressive living room fireplace which he had built himself, brick by brick. “But God, I swear if I still lived here in Wonderland, I would be fat now.” He hummed.

“Hm, I bet you’d still look hot if you were chubby.” Jared grinned. “Anyway, we’d work it off you.”

“Oh, and how would we do that exactly?” 

“Well.” Jared smirked, wrapping his mouth around his marshmallow and sliding it off the skewer. 

The boys went from zero to kissing in seconds and Jensen lead it, moving over Jared’s body and pushing his back against the floor. The kiss was lovely, sticky and sweet and felt like home for Jensen, as if all the kisses before Jared had felt like cold distant things. They rolled and rutted on the carpet, hands roaming up inside sweaters and down the back of pants until they were staggering up the stairs to Jared’s bedroom, high on booze and sugar. They fell into bed with one another easy, as if they had been together before and made love all night until the sun came up.

*

Being around Jared was the happiest Jensen had been for a long time, although it hadn’t occurred to him at that point. Only the people around him noticed a change in his steely city demeanor.

“Why are you smiling at me?” Jensen asked his father as they ate dinner one night a few days after Christmas. Jared and Jensen had spent the day sledding, rolling around in the snow and kissing under the Winter sun. Jensen was positively glowing.

“You smiled at me first.” Ronnie said softly.

“Oh.” Jensen chuckled then reached across the table to stab his fork into a thick slice of juicy chicken. “Well, you smile when you’re happy, don’t you?” 

Rachel and Ronnie shared a private knowing look because as much as modern day technology was beyond them both, neither of them were stupid when it came down to affairs of the heart. They knew that Jensen was out most of the day and most nights too spending the last of his holiday in Wonderland with Jared and they knew that something special was happening too. But reality bites and Jensen’s holiday was almost over.

Jensen thought he knew how to have fun, although he had forgotten that he was capable of _unadulterated_ fun but he was also practical too and Jared was not enjoying his last night with Jensen one bit. Neither of them discussed keeping in touch or whether what they had forged over the Christmas holidays was something they could maintain long distance. Jensen didn’t seem to want to talk about it except to remind Jared when he was leaving and what time his flight back home was. Jared was too timid to ask and so left it, made peace with it and thought of it as ‘that was the Winter romance that was’. There was little else he could do, particularly as Jensen was being so romantic and attentive with Jared’s body, as if he were making a map of memories in his head to take back home with him. It was painful and more so, Jensen didn’t seem to care that he was leaving. 

*

Jared was knelt down next to Jensen’s hire car, hands wrapped in chunky gloves, clinging to the edge of the wound down window. There was quite a lot they both wanted to say but they knew that it was fruitless to start discussing ‘if’s and when’s’. Jared’s face was rosy from the cold, the tip of his nose was a soft pink and his eyes looked glassy, conversely Jensen was doing whatever he could to keep himself focused on leaving and moving on. Inside he was a battleground.

“Drive safe.” Jared said softly. “The road just out of town gets a little icy so you might want to take it slow.”

“Yes.” Jensen nodded, giving Jared a weak but affectionate smile. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”

“You’d better hurry, or you’ll miss your flight.”

“Yes. I had.”

“See you then.” Jared said sadly, slowly standing up, head dipped still looking at Jensen intently.

“Yes, see you.” Jensen faltered for a moment before quickly starting the car. “Bye, Jared.” He swallowed the uncomfortable, intrusive lump in his throat and pulled away, leaving Jared standing alone on the sidewalk. It was the worst ‘leaving’ Jensen had ever been a part of.

*

_Four Weeks Later_

Jensen sat at the top of a long table with his latest client, the big Hollywood star who was more concerned with fake heteronormativity and earning millions per movie rather than be honest with the world. As much as Jensen appreciated the stars need for privacy, he appeared to want his cake and to eat it too. The movie star wanted to behave like a regular Joe gay man but still remain straight to the public who adored him because the money was more important than being himself. And he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality either, hitting on Jensen quite hard during lunch in the men’s room while they took a break from the proceedings which made the lawyer feel nauseous and used because the star reminded him of himself in many ways.

“Oh come on, I’m paying you enough to keep everyone’s mouths shut, love. Just a little play in the one of the cubicles. I trust you, you’re my lawyer.” The guy smirked at Jensen as if he was so entitled and so powerful, like some overlord who could make people do what he wanted and yet still come across to the general populace as a stand up guy.

“I can’t, I won’t.” Jensen said, frantically washing his hands and wishing that Jared would just walk into the restroom and save him. Jared. Jared was on his mind constantly, had been for four long weeks. There wasn’t an inch of him that wanted to forget him, and yet every atom wanted him wholly. The world Jensen slipped back into after his two weeks in Wonderland felt crooked, like looking into a broken mirror. It was all wrong.

“Client confidentiality, love. Just a tug, and then maybe we could hook up. You have just the kind of mouth perfect for sucking my-”

“No.” Jensen snapped, angrily tugging out a handful of paper towels and drying his hands.

“You may have a modicum of power in this world, sir but not over me. You pay _me_ remember? I’m the one keeping your sexuality a secret because you’re too spineless to be yourself. Greed has got you by the nuts and that tiny thing inside your head you call a brain is rotten. You disgust me.”

“Woah, okay. That was a step too far. I can get another lawyer you know. Little people like you are clamoring to represent me.”

“Little people.” Jensen scoffed. “It’s the little people that keep the world turning, you know that right? Not people like you who get off on being adored and awarded by folks who would turn away from you in a heartbeat when the next dopey, dumb looking star comes along. You people have expiry dates, real people they make a difference every day.” He smiled to himself. “The little people are the ones who really matter.”

“Why are you smiling and who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?”

“I’m smiling because you’ve made me realize.” Jensen grinned. “Go find yourself another lawyer, live your life in the shadows. I don’t care.” He hurried to the door and paused with his hand on the knob. 

“Where are you going, we haven’t finished the meeting.”

“I’m going to get my little person.” Jensen chuckled. 

*

‘Going to get his little person’ wasn’t like in the movies, he had to do ‘stuff’ first. Jensen did indeed abandon his movie star but was smart enough to pass the client onto Mac so as to keep him within the company. Then he spent a good few hours transferring all of his clients to his colleagues who were all pleased but bemused in equal measure by Jensen’s sudden erratic behavior. And even though Jensen didn’t quit, he did announce that he was taking some saved up time off and left his position open then two days after being a responsible adult, Jensen set off back to Wonderland full of nerves and excitement. 

Jensen pulled up outside Jared’s house and noticed that the lights were on in his workshop. The noise of some kind of power tool and faint music were filtering out into the early evening air which in late January was still heavy with snow. Jensen took a few steps inside the workshop, casually attired in jeans and a smart peacoat and scarf. He hovered for a few moments before coughing as loudly as he could muster over the noise of the drill. Jared looked up and turned around, his hair was a little sweaty and stuck to his forehead, Jensen didn’t remember seeing anyone look quite as beautiful as Jared did in that moment.

“Jensen.” Jared muttered, switching his drill off and setting it down on his workbench.

“Hello.” Jensen grinned.

“It’s taken you a while.” Jared smirked, pulling his work gloves off and slinging them on the floor.

“Well, I wanted to play hard to get.”

“Sure you did.” Jared chuckled and bit his lip, falling serious for a moment. “Is this real?”

“Yes.” Jensen nodded, wandering toward Jared. “It’s very real.”

“What about-”

“I want you. More than anything in my life, the boy I wanted more than anything when I was eighteen, I want now. Nothing has changed, except I finally grew a pair and this time, I’m telling him.”

“I hoped but I didn’t want-” Jared sniffed. 

“I’m here.” Jensen whispered and then crash as their bodies slammed together, kissing one another as if it had been a lifetime since the last time. Jensen backed Jared up against the wall of the workshop and kissed him with a passion he never knew he had in him. 

“Oh my God, please don’t go again.” Jared muttered in between desperate kisses and frantic wandering hands. “And if you do take me with you.”

“I’m not leaving, I’m not leaving you ever again.”


End file.
